I like that Alice was educated about the furry community, we all love the furry community. Thank you for adding that to the plot, Author. The furry community is grateful. Lewis, if you want to rave to Caramelldansen while wearing a cowsuit matching my foxsuit, please hmu.
Lewis, please hmu. We can buy a sex swing from Amazon. You shall only come when I allow it. Sometimes before falling asleep I wonder if chickens came from dinosaurs and what impact it would have on the economy. I wish I could touch it, stroke it, feel it. I really do hope that in the next part, that I am definitely about to read, the white bunny vibrator will get a redemption arc, and Lewis will break up with Alice and hmu instead.
Please, I am in love with you and I am afraid I will never stop being in love with you. View all 9 comments. Mar 07, Christina rated it really liked it Shelves: 4-stars , erotica , absolutely-no-young-adult-books. First, let me clearly state that all characters in the book are 18 or older. There is obviously a lot of sex in this book and obviously a lot of Alice does have a boyfriend and the First, let me clearly state that all characters in the book are 18 or older. Alice does have a boyfriend and the story does have a happy ending don't even go there.
This review is going to be a little challenging. Erotica is not my usual genre so I don't have a lot to use as a comparison. Regardless, this is the first erotica parody I have read. DuChamp does begin by setting the scene but is considerate enough to provide the reader with a direct link to the beginning of the good stuff in case you don't care about setting the scene. So moving right along to page Just kidding.
It's more like page There are a lot of different sexual situations in Shades of Alice, so be prepared; don't expect a one on one situation with Christian Grey. I guess it could be considered light Sado-Masochism because there is 'teasing' in it, but there doesn't really seem to be as much of a 'control' issue as with Shades of Grey.
But there are more creative situations than those found in Shades of Grey. Like I previously said, this is not my genre so I don't have a lot with which to compare but after reading Roquelaure, I am confident Shades of Alice is pretty moderate. What I thought was funny is when the story jumps outside of itself: "I wish I were a little bolder. Not boulder with a u. Bolder, as in without fear. This was my favorite part of the book. No really, it is.
Who asked you anyway? One of the reasons I like this part is because a friend of mine used the term mommy porn once, and it cracked me up; I thought she had just made the term up. And then another funny quote: "Yes, tea. Isn't this a tea party? It almost seems as if a lot of authors got together and played rock, paper, scissors to see who would use which classic.
Bottom line, DuChamp's first Shades of Alice book was good, but I will likely not pick up other authors. First, I don't read a lot of erotica.
Second, the others didn't get good reviews. The combination of both doesn't win a new reader for the other parodies. If you are into erotica, I think you will find this entertaining. It certainly serves up plenty of the main dish that is expected from erotica novels, along with a side dish of humor.
Mommy porn? I'm not sure. Maybe mommy porn plus, sort of like grape juice plus. Nov 26, Paras2 rated it did not like it. Mar 01, Lily Lick rated it it was amazing. God, no! Alice was so close. So near experiencing what she longed so much to experience. Her whole life, shed felt like a broken doll, missing an essential piece. But now she felt like a woman. A fullblooded, sexy woman. Alice wanted sex. She wanted it so bad she almost felt like crying.
Do you want me to lick you again? Pilar asked. Or would you prefer I mount you? The thought made Alice shudder. Oh, mount me, Alice said, close to tears.
Shed never used. Please mount me! Pilar stood up. Alice eyed the bulge in his leather pants. It seemed monstrous. Do it, she begged. She felt like her lower regions were on fire. Would you like it if I spanked you now? What if I took the riding crop and tapped you where I just shaved? Would you like that? The very idea was abominable, but Alice was so excited that if anything touched her there, even something as terrible as a riding crop, it would send her right over the edge.
I I would like that. Beg me to spank you. Please Pilar. Please spank me. Beg me to lick you again. Lick me, Pilar. Do you want me inside you? Oh, yes! No, Pilar said. Alice cried out in frustration. She tugged against her bounds, thrusting her hips into empty air without relief. Pilar reached out, gave her cheek a tender caress, and then moved his hands to her breasts. His rough fingers found her nipples and began to tug. Alices breath caught in her throat.
Somehow all of the burning in her loins had suddenly transferred to her breasts. Harder, she said. Pilar gave each a small pinch, and Alice grunted in appreciation. Ill be right back, he said, releasing her. No, no, no! Alice squirmed and strained and begged for him not to leave. She felt completely out of control, more frustrated than shed ever been in her life.
This teasing was intolerable, and she thought about using the safeword just so that wicked Pilar would untie her so she could touch herself. However, she didnt say the safeword. Because deep down, Alice realized she liked being teased. It made no sense. It was like being hungry, and not being able to eat an apple only a few inches away.
Or being terribly hot and thirsty and denying yourself a cool glass of lemonade. Or having an irresistible itch on your arm and being unable to scratch it.
But it was more than that. Alice yearned to know what other ways Pilar could torment her. She wanted to see how much teasing she could take before she burst.
The throb had become a steady thrum of pleasure. Pilars tongue on her most intimate parts had awoken some primitive beast in her.
A beast that demanded to be fed. Let him try to tease me beyond endurance, Alice said to herself, stiffening her upper lip. I can handle anything he does.
Even the riding crop. This cant possibly get any more intense. Pilar came back from the cabinet with a leather bag. Did you. I said you can tease me however long you like. I can take it. Is that so? Pilar reached his hand between her bare legs, rubbing her wetness, beginning the slow and steady rhythm again. Alice wanted to buck against him, to beg him to go faster, but she set her jaw and refused to give him the satisfaction of even a moan. But when Pilar took his hand away, Alice once again had to fight to not cry.
Poor little Alice. How she suffers so. Pilar reached into his bag and took out a small, golden chain. On each end was a wooden, spring-action clothespin.
These hurt somewhat going on, he said. But the real sensation begins when they are pulled off. The feeling is tripled.
Pilar pinched some skin of her inner thigh, and clamped the clothespin down. It brought a brief pinch of hurt, but then only pressure. Alice thought, wickedly, how it would feel clamped down elsewhere on her body. Pilar said. Not bad at all. But when I remove it. He pulled off the clothespin, and the pinched bit of skin seemed to burn like shed been struck with a wooden cane. Alice cried out. It hurt, but as with the spanking, the sensation melded with the feeling in her shaven area, heightening the intensity of her longing.
I shall clamp these onto your nipples, Pilar said. No, you cant! And I will. Then his hand was between her legs again, rubbing and teasing. Alice clenched her jaw, watching as he brought up the clothespin, pinching the end so it opened like a tiny birds beak.
He touched her nipple with it as she watched, helpless. Then he clamped it upon her. Alice screamed. Not from pain. As before, somehow the heat between her thighs connected with the sensation in her breast, and a wave of pleasure hit her like a slap.
Panting now, her breath in short gasps, Alice watched as Pilar opened up the clothespins partner, circling it lazily around her areola as the fingers of his other hand thrust inside her with increasing speed.
Do you want me to clamp this on your nipple? Alice couldnt answer. Pilar slowly began to withdraw his finger, until it barely touched her entrance. Alice blurted out. Beg me. Please, Pilar! The clothespin bit into her nipple just as he roughly entered her again, two fingers this time, going in and out with increasing speed.
The pinch in her breast grew to encompass Alices whole body, and her eyes squeezed shut as a wave built inside her unlike. You arent ready. Im Alice gasped, Im ready. I think not. I really think I am. Pilar shook his head. Alice wanted to scream. To cry. She was torn between wanting to strangle him, and begging him to touch her again. How about, Alice said while panting, we trade? Pilar narrowed his eyes. Trade what? Keep touching me, and Ill Youll?
Alice blurted out the most daring thing she could think of. Ill kiss you on your private. Pilar laughed. Whats so funny? Alice asked, the blush rising again, her hips yearning to brush against him. Dear Alice, when Im done with you, youll be begging to deep throat my cock and swallow every last drop of my essence. Alice had never heard such vulgarity directed at her.
As aroused as she was, the very idea was ludicrous. Just saying she would kiss him there was as outrageous as she could possibly get. There was nothing he could do to her to make her do that.
Pilar seemed to drink in the expression of disgust on her face, and reached into his bag again and held up a. What is that? Alice asked. It was shaped like Lewiss manhood, but made of black plastic and quite a bit larger. There were also tiny bumps across the surface. This is one of my smaller models, Pilar said. You call that small?
Its about the same size as I am. I dont have the bumps though. Open your mouth. Absolutely not. I dont care if you keep me here and tease me for eternity.
And secretly, part of her hoped he would. But Alice wanted no part of putting that plastic monstrosity in her mouth.
Pilar took something else out of the bag with his other hand. It was bigger, but not shaped like a body part. Eighteen-year-old Alice is unhappy. Her boyfriend is nice and polite, but he's also quick and careless in bed, and doesn't give Alice the attention and variety she craves.
But he's not entirely to blame, because Alice herself doesn't understand her own needs. She's heard about what sex is supposed to be like, but has never felt anything remotely close to what she's read about in runaway bestselling books. But, unfortunately, it was true. As much as he claimed he enjoyed their lovemaking, Alice knew, deep down, he was just as disappointed in it as she was. Lewis twisted his body to face her. To get better. Here, I got you something to help.
He jack-knifed into a sitting position and dug into the picnic basket, pulling out a slender box wrapped in polka-dot paper. Lewis handed the package to Alice, who took it cautiously.
Normally, she loved receiving presents. A hundred dollars was a lot of money. Especially for Lewis, who worked in a shoe store earning slightly over minimum wage. Alice ran her finger along the seam and tore the paper off, revealing a plain white box. And inside that was…. But this was made of white plastic. Near the bottom were two large, rubber ears, sprouting out of the base where hair on a man would be. Lewis beamed.
So shall I spank you? I can place you in the stocks and whip your butt and thighs with a crop. She instantly imagined herself bent over, her head and hands trapped, Pilar behind her with a leather riding crop, punishing her bare flesh. Stand up. Alice glanced at the large, wooden wheel, braced against the wall like a giant clock.
But her adventures have only just begun to heat up. After breaking up with her boyfriend, Lewis, Alice enters a strange fantasy world where every pleasure—no matter how kinky—is indulged.
Alice is subjected to amorous escapades beyond her wildest dreams, and taken to the very limit of sexual endurance. During her carnal encounters with all manner of men and women, she is teased to tears by a bondage master, thoroughly used in a three way, enlightened to the sensual joys of a female touch, taken to a sex shop to test different erotic toys, given several very special piercings, and is dragged to the Hall of Denied Orgasms where she must fight the frumious Jabbercocky to save all of Looking Glass Land.